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Alzheimer's Disease takes
away the past and the future, the before and after, leaving only the
present moment. In a way, it is a distillation of the reality in which
we all live. However, we are so busy worrying about the past or
fretting over the future that we fail to appreciate and live in the
present.
The
caregiver/loved one bears the pain and the burden of remembering.
The caregiver/loved one worries about what will happen next. The
Alzheimer's patient, in the last stages is free of those cares. What
remains is a mystery. Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's gives
insight that love remains, even if the subject of that love is
forgotten. Self remains, though changed because a critical part of
self-identity lives in relationships, in shared experience and shared
memory.
In the last days of my
mother-in-law's life, when Alzheimer's had taken everything but the
present moment, I posted this verse above her bed with a reminder to
her care-givers to be kind in that moment. In her former self, she
was a brilliant woman but beset by anxiety all her life. I imaged her
in those last days feeling as David did:
“Be
gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; O Lord, heal me, for my
bones are shaking with terror. My soul also is struck with
terror, while you, O Lord—how long? Turn, O Lord, save my
life; deliver me for the sake of your steadfast love.”
Psalm 6:2-4.
This was my prayer for her, that her Lord would deliver
her for the sake of love.
